I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
