I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize