Whod you bang
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
