like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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