ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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