Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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