i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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