I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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