whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
