All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
