I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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