Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
