But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
