Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
