and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
