are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize