Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
