Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
