Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
