last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
