Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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