never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you would pick up someone in the library
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
