I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
