brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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