Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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