dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
