There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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