someone get that fucking seahorse.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
