I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
