sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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