yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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