I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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