I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
