How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
