Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
