I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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