It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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