I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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