at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
