Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I don't think brook has ever known best
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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