i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
