They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize