just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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