they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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