More tranny stories later!
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
why is half of my head shaved?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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