Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I have fence marks all over my body
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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