I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
