i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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