Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize