We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
