So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I think a kid would responsible me up
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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