another moral hangover. fuck.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
