dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
She's not a foreskin expert like you
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
