every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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