Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
lol hangovers are for mortals.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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