I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
